Whiskered Reaper
by srobertson
Summary: What if Naruto had become a Jashinist at the land of waves. What if Hidan had trained him before the Chunin Exams. Rated M for Hidan's vocabulary but not much else.
1. Chapter 1

Hey guy's this is a new fanfic. For those of you who are fans of Right The Wrongs don't worry. I'll be swiching between these two stories periodically. In this story Naruto becomes a Jashinist. The reason why, because Hidan is one of my favorite characters and If Naruto was trained by him how would things be different.

* * *

"Is this the first time you've lost a friend in battle

"Is this the first time you've lost a friend in battle?" Haku asked Naruto.

Naruto didn't answer. Sasuke was dead, his world shattered. For Naruto, there was only sadness. His best friend was dead and he knew he would probably be the next one to go. His mined churned, filling with many emotions: hatred, anguish, regret, self pity.

Suddenly a voice rang out in Naruto's head. The voice was barely a whisper but it had a power to it. The voice asked, "Boy, do you want power, power to avenge your friend?"

"Who are you?" Naruto responded.

"I am Jashin," the voice answered. "And I can give you power. Power to avenge your precious Sasuke, who now lies at your feet dead; power to kill the one who took your friend from you. I just want one simple thing, your loyalty and for you to spread my word to everyone in your village."

Naruto hesitated for a second but a glance down on the raven-haired youth that he held in his arms banished all doubt from his mind.

"I'll do it." He said to Jashin.

_A few miles away…_

"Man, why do I always get stuck with this shit?" Hidan grumbled. Kakuzu had gone off on another of his little money earning trips, leaving Hidan to wait for his return.

"Servant, I have a task for you."

"What the fuck, who's there?" Hidan said.

"To think you wouldn't now the voice of your own god."

"What the fuck, Jashin is that you?" Hidan said.

"Yes, who else do you think it could be?" Jashin said angrily.

Hidan grabbed his Jashin symbol and said, "What is your will?"

"That's more like it," Jashin said, in a happier voice. "I have chosen a new member for the religion. He is on a bridge a few miles away from here. I want you to find him and instruct him in the ways of Jashinism."

Hidan face lit up. "A new member, finally! I've been board as hell. He better be sturdier then the last one though."

"Yes, that remindes me," Jashin added. "No drawing and quartering this time."

Hidan sighed, "Fine."

_Back at the bridge…_

A violent wave of energy engulfed Naruto. When it cleared Naruto was on his feet. His eyes were now colored amethyst, the sign of a Jashinist. Naruto feeling more powerful then ever, turned towards Haku.

"I'm gonna kill you." He said.

Haku didn't say anything. Instead he peppered Naruto with a few dozen senbon. Naruto didn't even flinch.

"What!!!" Haku exclaimed. "Those are fatal points, why isn't he dead?"

Naruto looked up at him and flashed a smile so evil it would have made Kyuubi stand up and applaud.

Haku tried to strafe him again but Naruto simply reached out and snagged him by the sleeve. Naruto then removed one of the senbon and scratched Haku with it. Naruto then swallowed the blood. Haku managed to tug free and make it to the next mirror.

"Now feel the power of Jashin!" Naruto roared slashing his own wrist and then drawing the Jashin symbol on the ground. Naruto's skin immediately turned black and gained the grim reaper like markings around his body.

Haku didn't know what to do. So he settled on throwing another deluge of senbon at Naruto. The pierced Naruto in every fatal point on the body excluding the brain. Haku then slumped out of the mirror dead, the Jashin curse taken its toll upon his body.

Kakashi and Zabuza fought viciously. It wasn't clear who yet would win. Zabuza zanbato cleaving great arks through the air while Kakashi dodged and weaved, avoiding all the hits. From the tree's Hidan watched.

"So were the fuck is the new guy?" He asked the air.

The ice mirrors shattered revealing Naruto, his body back to normal, and a dead Haku. Zabuza gulped. If this kid had defeated Haku then he was more of a threat then he thought. Zabuza then attempted to remedy that. Surprising Kakashi with a snap kick to the stomach. He then dashed towards Naruto. Naruto jumped to evade but Zabuza was too fast and Naruto was decapitated.

Sakura screamed as the head rolled down the bridge.

Hidan whistled, "Man that had to hurt." He'd been decapitated before and it wasn't fun, even for a masochist.

Kakashi was on the verge of tears, he had let his comrades down. Before he could continue the fight with Zabuza Hidan leaped in front of him.

"Decapitating kids huh, man that is cold." Hidan said as he casually swing his scythe around like a toy.

"Get out of here, unless you want to die to." Zabuza growled.

"Yeah, like you could kill me." Hidan smirked.

Zabuza responded by driving his zanbato into Hidan's chest up to the hilt.

Hidan simply said, "That stings."

He then decapitated the stunned Zabuza.

Hidan then turned to Kakashi and asked, "Can you help me get this thing out? It hurts like hell."

Kakashi facefaulted.

_Five minutes later…_

Hidan, finally free of the massive sword. Walked over to Sakura who was crying, holding Naruto's head in her arms.

"Why…?" She cried.

Hidan sighed in disgust.

"Girl, shut up. Kid cut the act."

"Yeah, I guess your right." Naruto's head said. "Hey Sakura, could you go find my body."

Sakura's face turned white. She collapsed. Kakashi, who was nearby, grieving in his own way, did likewise.

Hidan smiled. "This is going to be fun." He said

"Uh, could a head get a little help here?" Naruto's head requested.

* * *

It's easy to imagine why Naruto didn't say anything. He has a crush on Sakura and she's holding him close. Please comment.


	2. Chapter 2

Here is my next chap. Sorry these take so long but my schedule is packed these days.

* * *

Sasuke awoke on the bridge. He groaned loudly. He heard an unfamiliar voice call out, "What the Hell? He kid, your buddy is still alive."

Sasuke glanced over to see a man with silver hair, a large scythe and a gaping wound in his chest walking towards him. Looking further he saw Naruto, his head back in place thanks to some medical thread Hidan kept with him, crouching over Sakura, who was passed out, look up.

"Hey Sasuke, your not dead!" Naruto yelled happily before dashing over to Sasuke.

"Where's the kid in the mask?" Sasuke asked.

"Right next to you," Naruto said.

Sasuke turned over to see Haku's corpse, riddled with holes around the neck, lying in a puddle of blood.

"Who did that?" Sasuke said.

"Yours truly, believe it!" Naruto said.

Sasuke looked at the body again.

"Those look like needle holes. What did you do, pull them out of yourself and throw them at him." Sasuke asked, disbelief a little evident in his voice.

"He used the ritual." Hidan stated matter-o-factly."

Sasuke looked puzzled. "What's the ritual and who are you?"

"My name is Hidan. I am a priest of Jashin." Hidan said with pride flowing from him.

"So what's the ritual?" Sasuke asked again, pulling himself to his feet. "Hey wait, where is sensei?"

Hidan looked annoyed, "That masked pansy, he's over there."

Sasuke looked over to Kakashi, who was lying on the ground, muttering, "talking head," over and over.

"What happened to him?" Sasuke asked.

"Look, just fucking wait until I tell you about the fucking ritual." Hidan yelled.

Sasuke wasn't fazed by Hidan's outburst. "What is up with sensei Naruto?"

"Hey don't ignore me when I'm fucking talking to you, you piece of shit." Hidan yelled.

Sasuke kept ignoring him. Instead he walked over to Kakashi and kicked him in the stomach. The kick brought the stunned sensei out of his stupor.

"Oh god!" Kakashi yelled.

Naruto crouched down by Kakashi. "Sensei, are you alright?"

"Naruto, your O.K." Kakashi stammered. "But your head?"

Hidan jumped in, "Will talk later cyclops, we've got company."

Indeed, for Gato and his thugs were piling onto the bridge.

"Well, it looks like the 'Demon' failed." Gato sneered, his voice full of contempt. The thugs began to advance on the group. Hidan, however, looked happy.

"I hate people who pay people to kill others." He said.

Long story short, the bridge needed a new coat of paint after Hidan was through unleashing eight kinds of hell with a side of fries.

_One week later, Campsite in the woods:_

The group had gotten along pretty well, although Sakura didn't like Hidan's constant swearing. They had left the Land of Waves one day ago and proceeded to return to Konoha. Hidan was allowed to tag along because Naruto had insisted on him coming because he was a Jashinist priest. Kakashi had asked what that was and Hidan had simply said back, "You will probably find out later." Kakashi didn't press the issue.

Hidan was irritated. Naruto, willing to pray at least, hadn't donned Jashinist clothing yet. Hidan hadn't presented the issue yet but he expected any follower of Jashin to understand the requirements.

"Hey kid, time for your next lesson." Hidan said.

Naruto perked up. He liked learning more. Hidan had already taught him much about the ritual.

"So what is it?" Naruto asked.

Sasuke started to listen in. He hadn't had much of a chance but he wanted to learn as much possible about the ritual. What he had gathered so far was that it transmitted injures received from the caster to the target. He however didn't know about Naruto and Hidan's immortality yet.

"You're going to learn how to dress appropriately for a Jashinist." Hidan said.

Naruto suddenly blanched.

"The first thing to go will be that hideous orange jumpsuit." Hidan said evilly.

"No!!!" Naruto yelled, crab walking backwards from the menacingly advancing Jashinist.

Hidan proceeded to chase Naruto around the clearing while Sakura and Kakashi laughed. Sasuke muttered, "They're both idiots."

Naruto continued to evade Hidan for a few minutes. "I don't care if you fucking want to or don't you little shit you are ditching that orange abomination." Hidan growled.

"Over my dead body!!!" Naruto yelled back.

An evil glint moved across Hidan's eye. "Good idea!" He said in an evil tone that was only capable by three people, the Kyuubi, a Tsunade scorned that fury hell hath no, and Hidan himself. He promptly decapitated Naruto. Naruto's head rolled into Sasuke's lap. Everyone screamed. Then to Sasuke's complete and utter horror, Naruto's head started yelling, "No, stop him Sasuke!"

Sasuke's eyes increased to the size of dinner plates, Sakura fainted, and Kakashi dropped his porn and fell over into the fetal position… again.

"How the…?" Sasuke managed to mutter.

"One of the perks of Jashinism kid," Hidan muttered as he yanked of Naruto's clothes down to the boxers.

"Sasuke, stop him please," Naruto's head blubbered, chibi tears streaming down his face.

Sasuke wasn't listening. "So, if you are a Jashinist, you become immortal?" Sasuke said.

"Yeah," Hidan said.

"So can anyone become one?" Sasuke asked.

"Sure as shit, you interested?" Hidan said, happy at the prospect that he might get to convert another. Sasuke was also happy, thinking about how being immortal would make it that much easier to kill his brother.

"Yes, all do it." Sasuke said finally.

"Wahoo!!!" Hidan yelled as he pulled out a scroll from his cloak pocket from which he summoned an outfit similar to his, and then started to dress Naruto's body.

"Hey, did you forget about me?" Naruto's head yelled from Sasuke's lap.

Sasuke simply tossed Naruto's head away.

"Agh!!!" Naruto's head yelled before it collided with a tree.

"So, what do I have to do?" Sasuke asked as Hidan finished dressing the body.

"I have to perform a ritual." Hidan said.

"Can we do it now?" Sasuke asked.

"In a sec." Hidan said. He walked over to were Naruto's head was, picked it up and proceeded to slap it until Naruto awoke from the unconsciousness that was brought on by his collision with the tree.

"Ow…" Naruto's head groaned.

"Shut up!" Hidan said.

Hidan then stitched Naruto's head back on to his body which was now clothed in a black cloak and black cargo pants. It had a Jashin symbol hanging from the neck.

"This sucks." Naruto complained.

"Just shut up you brat." Hidan said.

* * *

Next time Sasuke will become a Jashinist as well. Hidan will move in with Kakashi and gain access to the most sacred room in the house, the room that even Jariya can't resist. Yes people, the room that holds Kakashi's porn collection. Also, I plan to make Kakashi and Hidan go peeping at the womens baths. Take a guess what will happen once Hidan starts working his vodoo mojo.


End file.
